camwhoring

i am an addict.

back off stranger

is it stupidity or is it showing true love?

here's how our conversation went:
me: can we talk?
other line: yes
me: i just want to say I'm sorry
other line: for what? there's no need
me: i feel that, it was all my fault
other line: ewan ko
me: can you give me this last chance of proving my worth? nagsisisi na talaga ako if i was not good enough for you, can you please love me back?
other line: don't ask me that, i wouldn't know the answer
me: do you still love me?
other line: i don't know
me: please, ill do anything that you tell me, everything that you want. I'm
begging you, please, at least let me love you. i am not asking you to
love me back, i just want you to give me another chance to let you
know how much i love you. let me do the things i used to just to
show you how much i still love you. i won't do anything that you
don't like. give me a specific time of the day where i can call or text
even if you just reply once, that'll be fine with me. just PLEASE LET
ME STILL LOVE YOU.
other line: ewan ko, di kita masasagot ngayon. bahala ka. sige na bye.

*conversation ends*
please consider reading the first post before this before reacting. thanks

ive changed

i switched to http://www.jeyemmonti.multiply.com/

but i still visit this site though. :)

how do you mend a broken heart?

when all you hoped for was to be loved, even if it was obvious that you were not loved the way you did, is it worth saving?
once you are in a relationship, all you hope for that it would be the last. then you try you damn best to save and make it work out the way you wished it would, then in a snap, the crap ends.
should you blame yourself for showing too much love and for trying so hard to make your self believe that things are all good but you are aware that in that moment, there are more moments with in that you chose to be blind.
i never gave up on love cause you thought it was real, i never gave up on love because i though we both feel the same way, i never gave up on love because i thought it was forever-at least i did. did you ever?
you gave up on love though you know my love was real, you gave up on love because you did not feel the same way that i did, you gave up on love because though you said it was forever, you know that you were lying.- it was so unfair you did.
i caught you lying too many times that you ran out of excuses that your only way out of this was to break up with me.
i felt the love, but it was not genuine.
i felt the care but i felt my self caring more.
i was happy.
i am still in love with you.

how do you mend a broken heart?

www.jeyemmonti.multiply.com

leave the best behind.

i am finally starting to realize how much blinded i had been trying to make this "commitment" ( as what my x-bestfriend termed our friendship to be) work out. am i not in the position to put pride for just once?

i am growing bitter everytime i grow nostalgic of what could have been a good brotherhood. i may have given too much but i never asked for something in return. well, i think, i should have just asked for it and maybe it did not come to this point where i never expected it to be.
i am not perfect. i may be overly sensitive most of the times but i am aware of what i do and i try to put back the pieces. it's hard.

this may come to you as a surprise but for me it has been a long standing concern. i was too quiet that it has grown stagnant. now that you are ending our friendship, let me share my thoughts, my rambling thoughts.

a poet said "tonight i write the saddest lines", today i do too.
they say friendship is a priceless gem that is why i keep them well, maybe too well that i do not give time for my self to feel that i am a gem too.

i don't want to be so detailed on this, i respect your right to keeping it to yourself. one day i'll forget about you, you'll see i won't even miss you, i know someone is going to be there for me.
i may not be the best but i tried to be. it is so weakening to think that it was so easy for you to decide to just forget about this "commitment", it has never been a commitment for me, and neither for you, i never told you to commit yourself, all i was after was the brotherhood, the friendship, you should have never asked me to be your bestfriend in the first place. i am not blaming you, maybe not on everything.

one day, we'll both realize how much this could become of a better ending. you never wanted to talk about it anyway.

you are Just Enough For a Friend, but you can not be the best, maybe not until you grow up and realize that not everything should be about you, that there are times that you should be the one to adjust to other people, start with your family. keep up to what your parents has been telling you to be, and life would be a lot easier for you. you are a wonderful being, you just have to be more appreciative, attentive and sensitive of the people and things around you. every dance has an end. step-up and prove to them how much more you could be. you know who made the wrong turn between the two of us this time. it was not me. do not turn back.

maybe for the first and last time i won't apologize.

today i am leaving my best behind.

foreplay of photos

i wish i could be

i don't want to frustrate God for wanting things He thinks may be too good for me or things that i should not be a part of, i tried and i failed because i loved.

"Let me in to see you in the morning light,To get me on and all along the tears they come, See all come, I want you to believe in life. But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away And when you find out who you are its too late to change"

i am not brave enough to tell you what i feel because i know things are still spinning crazily and haven't found the time to stop for you and make you finally realize what you should really do, i don't want to be too befitting of your doubtful feelings. i don't want to get hurt when you realize your heart still belongs to the one you've left behind. you may love me but when you find out who you really are it's going to hurt me more than how it will sting you, i wish i could be every little thing you wanted, all the time. Oh, i wish i could be every little thing you wanted, sometimes...

"Lift me up, just lift me up dont make a sound Let me hold you up before you hit the ground See all come, you say your alright But i get the strangest feeling that you've gone away, you've gone away And when you find out who you are too late to change"

let me fill up the emptiness. i may not be better but i'll try to give as much of what i could give my self. i will look for your fears and i'll make you know mine. i will be with you, i want to be with you, i wish i could be every little thing you wanted, all the time. Oh, i wish i could be every little you wanted, EVERYTIME.

let me furnish your hollow feeling. i wish i could be every little thing you wanted, all the time. Oh, i wish i could be every little thing you wanted all the time. this time, every little thing you wanted all the time, oh, but i get the strangest feeling that you've gone away with out even making me try...

sing to me again.